Have you ever looked around your home or your life and wondered when it all got so chaotic? Felt overwhelmingly helpless or frustratingly confused by what you see or by wondering hoe you got there? Well, you’re not alone. I’m there right now. Actually, here and I could be considered very good friends. You see, I’ve been here before; many, many times before, and I know, in my heart, that I will be here again. It’s my life! Sometimes it’s crazy, sometimes it’s calm, and sometimes it gets so far away from me I don’t know how I’ll ever get back to “normal”. Right now I’m hovering somewhere just past crazy, and I feel like I’m at a crossroads.
They say that our home should be a reflection of ourselves. And truth be told, mine reflects my inner calm or turmoil a little too well at times. To give you an idea of what I mean, if you were to come over to my home today here is what you would see:
- newspapers piled up on the entryway table
- toys scattered in the living room and the family room
- my library books piled onto the end of the dining room table
- piles of paper and random office stuff that I haven’t dealt with since moving my office. (I’ll tell you all about that in another post!)
- Dirty dishes stacked by the sink because after dinner last night I got sidetracked with another matter and by the time it registered that the dishes hadn’t been done, I could barely keep my eyes open and sleep won that battle.
- the breakfast nook table is covered with random stuff
… and that’s not including the upstairs, or what is lying behind closed doors.
There have been so many changes in our lives lately, and I feel as though I’ve been pulled in too many directions. Too many things are vying for my attention. The start of school, all the stuff us parents need to get done for the school or the teacher, jobs changing, life changing; and through it all, the house slowly slides into disorganized chaos.
It drives me NUTS!
Not just because it’s a mess, but because I’ve allowed it to get to this point. You see, despite my best efforts to tame the household chore beast and map the jungle of household organization, I get lost along the way. I know everything I should be doing; I have printables galore to help me stay on track, but somewhere between the knowing of what needs to be done and the actual doing, I get stuck. I don’t know if I can explain it right. I know what needs to get done, and I know how to do it, but when I go to do it something happens. It’s like all thoughts and knowledge receded to the back of my scattered brain, and I’m left feeling lost and more than a little confused. Sometimes I’ll push through that barrier and end up with great results. Other times, I’ll push through and disaster ensues. And sometimes I just need to walk away. You know what I mean? Or am I the only one out there who ever feels like this?
This time around I’ve chose to walk away, take a few steps back and try looking at the bigger picture, not just what I see as my failures. That’s not as easy as it sounds, because I tend to just see what I didn’t do, and not the other side of that coin. Our teen just celebrated his 15th birthday, that always take priority over everything. Travis spent most of Saturday baking, and I had fun hanging out in the kitchen with him. Liam is super excited about being in grade one this year and I’ve been busy making sure the transition is smooth for him, and enjoying and encouraging his excitement. I’ve been working on a business idea, and formulating a business plan. (which is super exciting) All positive things that deserve the focus I typically give the negative.
You’re probably wondering where all this is going? Me too! (just kidding) Actually, it’s leading to some changes around this little ole blog of mine. I’ve been drifting along, sharing printables, a few organizing posts, and some random bits and bobs, and I think, perhaps, like in my home, I needed to take that step back and walk a way for a little bit to figure out where to go next. And I’ll share more on that with you tomorrow.
Do you ever feel overwhelmed by things in your life? Do you ever find yourself wondering how things got so crazy without you noticing it sooner?